In this article, Damilola Orenisile, Comms and Programmes Lead at The Comms Avenue, shares some lessons from her experience on building and nurturing meaningful professional relationships. From connecting with peers and contributing to communities to recognising the value you bring, she explores how to build relationships that support your career.
One thing my career has taught me is that strong relationships are a currency you earn through goodwill, respect, consideration and time.
Relationships can give you access to opportunities and experiences that money alone cannot. Yet, I’ve observed how professionals struggle to build and maintain relationships that add value to their careers. I’ve been reflecting on this because we live in a time when it’s easier than ever to reach out to almost anyone, yet we seem more disconnected.
So, how do we change this? How do we become the kind of people who build and nurture the networks we aspire to have?
- Start With An Open Mind
Making connections becomes easier when you’re open to them. Whether you’re attending an event or going about your day at work, embrace the possibility of meeting someone new or having an interesting conversation.
When you approach situations this way, you’re more likely to engage with people or even initiate conversations. Too often, people attend events focused on connecting with a particular person, overlooking the connections and opportunities all around them.
You can’t tell what someone has to offer just by looking at them, and you can’t determine their value by their job title. Titles change, and ordinary people rise to prominence every day.
Personally, I prefer connecting with people I genuinely like or find interesting rather than those I believe I can gain something from. It makes building and maintaining lasting relationships much easier.
- Focusing Only On Senior Professionals Could be Holding You Back
If you’re like me, you’ve heard stories of how a meeting with a leader, founder or executive changed someone’s life. I’m not knocking that, but you could be missing out on a lot of opportunities if you focus only on connecting with senior professionals.
Something I’ve observed is that many of the senior professionals we look up to today were once peers who were figuring things out together.
I attended a conference last month where the Honourable Commissioner for Health in Lagos State casually mentioned that he and the current Vice-Chancellor of the University of Lagos went to school together. I also noticed how many of the speakers gravitated towards one another because they were colleagues or friends.
I also recently learned that several notable founders in Nigeria’s tech industry started learning and building their skills together at CcHUB over a decade ago. If you look back at their early days, they might have seemed a lot like you and me.
Imagine if they had chosen to engage only with senior professionals instead of building relationships with one another. They might have missed the opportunity to grow together and build relationships that have since become priceless.
Your peers today could be the senior leaders, founders and executives you look up to tomorrow. Are you making room for those connections?
- Journalists And Media Contacts Are An Asset
If you want to build a successful career in PR or Communications, you need to build relationships with the media. This shouldn’t be an afterthought. It should be something you prioritise because, at some point, you’ll need those relationships.
Too often, we reach out to journalists only when we need something. And I understand why. Sometimes, the need is urgent. But if your goal isn’t to build a long-term relationship with the journalist, you might be shooting yourself in the foot.
Build your media list as you grow in your career. Get to know journalists beyond the stories you want them to cover or the favours you need them to do.
No one likes to feel that the only reason you reach out is because you want something from them.
- Don’t Just Join Communities, Contribute To Them
Let’s be frank, “community” is now a buzzword and it has replaced “audience”. I’ll just mention here that I am not a fan of clichés. As a result, I tend to avoid them as much as possible.
When The Comms Avenue Community started, it was a place where conversations, requests and support flowed freely. I still marvel at the depth of conversations that were had in the Telegram group.
Today, there are thousands of communities around the world, with people joining for what they can gain and far fewer thinking about what they can give.
When you give, you contribute to someone else’s growth and development. You also encourage others to give, creating a cycle of support that can eventually benefit you, too.
The reason communities work is that they offer something of value, whether it’s a sense of belonging, opportunities, knowledge or a network. But I’ll take it a step further: the reason many communities fail to live up to their potential is that members aren’t contributing enough.
And that brings me to my final point.
- Understand that you have value too.
You’re an individual with unique experiences, ideas and contributions. Even if no one tells you, take it from me: you are valuable.
When you recognise your value and understand that you have something to offer, you show up to meetings, events and work with greater confidence. And that confidence feeds into everything else I’ve shared.
You become more open to connecting with people because you understand that you have as much to give as you do to gain. You make room for your peers because you know that you can be valuable to one another. You contribute more to communities and may even be inspired to build one of your own.
If you don’t see your value, you’ll believe you have nothing to offer and that in turn, feeds into everything else.
One more thing I’ll add is this: Be considerate. I think a lot of professionals get so caught up in how they are feeling or thinking that they forget to consider the person on the other end.
You’re in a hurry but the other person isn’t and that is not a bad thing. Your urgency is not their responsibility. Read your messages and check for tone, clarity and accuracy because passing your message across is great but how it is received by the other party is everything.
There are over 7 billion people in the world and if you think about it, you’ve already met thousands of them. Relationships are simply born out of consistently engaging with the people you meet. I believe that with enough intentionality and practice, you can build a valuable network from the connections you already have.
